Category Archives: Court Case

Ramping it up for the Rescues

Yes, the other entries are splendogorous and splencatorious and not to forget splenpigorous but I’ve just found out (yes, I’m a little slow) that there are ACTUAL PRIZES to be won.

Now you know I’m not going to take a prize for this little menagerie.  No sirree!  If there are prizes to be given, they’ll go straight to an animal shelter.  Come on guys, it’s time to vote for a shelter to get a prize.

The Valentines Ball over at Mollie & Alfie is going magnificently.

Raffles is a most regal and handsome fellow but, bless his little curly socks, he is, of course, still a pup.  He started the proceedings looking like this:

Regal Raffles with Litchi in her "A La Poodle" hairstyle (courtesy of Raffles' Help)

Regal Raffles with Litchi in her “A La Poodle” hairstyle (courtesy of Raffles’ Help)

But soon found the decorations simply irresistible:

How can any pup, regal or not, be expected to ignore such delectable toys?

How can any pup, regal or not, be expected to ignore such delectable toys?

Litchi, whom many believe to be a true Lady but whose hidden nature is that of Manic Mania, joined in the fun like this:

Maniac Litchi trying to catch pieces of decor tossed about by Raffles

Maniac Litchi trying to catch pieces of decor tossed about by Raffles

Raffles, on having been admonished by the bouncers, retreated in shame to hide in the bushes:

Raffles, like any young one at their first party, landed up in the bushes!

Raffles, like any young one at their first party, landed up in the bushes!

But Litchi, knowing it was her duty as the “more mature” half of this couple, ran to her rescue, bribed the bouncers (she learnt that from Doggy) and ensured their return entry to the Ball:

Litchi rushes to Raffles Rescue

Litchi rushes to Raffles Rescue

Shadow and Coccolino also started the festivities in fine style:

Cocco, the true gentlepig, arrived with a cupcake gift when he collected Shadow

Cocco, the true gentlepig, arrived with a cupcake gift when he collected Shadow

But as the alcohol flowed, he managed to relieve another guest of their costume and give Shadow some good giggles along the way:

What girl wouldn't laugh at a man wearing pirate skulls for Valentines?

What girl wouldn’t laugh at a man wearing pirate skulls for Valentines?

Realising he was on to a good wicket, he sneaked Shadow off to teach her how to steal the best quality drinks on the sly:

Well, no cat is going to say "No" to some stolen, spiked milk

Well, no cat is going to say “No” to some stolen, spiked milk

But once the shenanigans were over, Cocco certainly put his best hoof forward and my, oh my, what an accomplished dancer he proved to be:

Now tell me, how could these two possibly not win King and Queen of the Ball?

Now tell me, how could these two possibly not win King and Queen of the Ball?

Moving onto the youngest attendee at the ball.  Little 8 week old Pixels and the two most utterly handsome dates in dogville, Scout and Teddy:

As the Lady we trust she will grow up to be, she donned a fabulous hat to match her Gentledog partners

As the Lady we trust she will grow up to be, she donned a fabulous hat to match her Gentledog partners

What kitty could say no to the perfect Black & White partners, sporting their top hats with style and grace?

Scout seemed really taken by Pixels and gave her his best Toothy Grin

Scout seemed really taken by Pixels and gave her his best Toothy Grin

To which Pixels replied with an:

Eeeeeek!

Eeeeeek!

But soon realised that these two stunners were nothing, if not caring, gentle, slobberbugs well worthy of her paw pats.

Enough jabbering – get yourselves off to Mollie & Alfie and cast your votes for King and Queen of the Ball and Best Dressed.

Again, I warn you, DO NOT look at the other entries.  They are spectacular and brain cells will instantly ignite into an inferno.

Remember, you are voting to get a Rescue Shelter a PRIZE.  You are voting for the DESTITUTE, the HOMELESS, the UNLOVED and ADORABLE!  This is YOUR CHANCE to make a DIFFERENCE IN THEIR LIVES!

PS – All photos of dates were maliciously stolen off their blogs.  They may sue me but would have to stand in line with the other 3258 other claimants.  We suspect your court date would be scheduled for around 2098.

The Rescue Animals of the World unite in saying THANK YOU!

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61 Comments

Filed under Begging, Competition, Court Case, Litchi's Story, Party, Pixels, Rescue, Shadow, Valentines

Doggy’s Dilemma

Well, it seems that Litchi has found herself a bona-fide job.  Good for her.  About time she earned her kibbles here.!

Although previously self-appointed, it appears that her title is now official.  She is:

Lady Litchifield Love – Mediator to the Dogs

Mollie and Doggy are still at it.  The international crisis has not yet been averted.  After many grueling days of court cases (presided over by Judge Sammy) and mediation, the official Litchi Treaty was signed.  All seemed good in the world!

International politics being what they are, has resulted in a further dispute.

Mollies latest question for Paw Tokens was “Who originally sang this and what year was it released?“.  Doggy, always quick of the mark, got the first portion perfectly correct.  He neglected, unfortunately to give the Date of Release.

Each correct participant received Two Paw Tokens.  This did not include Doggy.  Being somewhat of a drama-queen (alright, he’s not a queen – maybe a Drama-Dog), Doggy threw a perfectly heartbreaking hissy-fit.  Exerpts of his laments include:

“My heart aches, I’m in tears, tears blur my vision as I write this….I’ll be praying for you and for the snipers….”

As you can see, he still has snipers surrounding Mollies place.  Of course Alfie, the cat, is thoroughly enjoying chasing their laser beams but Mollie lives in fear.

Lady Litchi has offered the following compromise, hoping the 2nd Litchi Treaty will be signed soon:

Litchi Treaty Two:

  • Mollies competition question clearly consisted of two parts, the first being the singers and the second, the date of release.
  • Doggy, without doubt, got the first portion of this question correct
  • As Mollie offered Two Paw Tokens to those who correctly answered both questions, it seems reasonable to assume that there was a Paw Token per portion.
  • Mollie, therefore, agrees to offer Doggy One Paw Token for answering one question correctly.
  • As acceptance of this agreement, Doggy refrains from pitiable laments, agrees to “man-up” like the Gentledog he has previously proved himself to be and re-enters the competition in the spirit of good fun everywhere.
  • Mollie, for her part in the mischief, knowingly driving Doggy to extreme levels of psychosis, offers a public apology.  Declarations of love, at this point, would also be acceptable.

Litchi requests that fellow readers provide their thoughts regarding this agreement.  Comments may be lodged here or at either Mollie’s or Doggy’s blog.

It is vital that all International Litchi Treaty’s are open to public comment.

59 Comments

Filed under Competition, Court Case

DOG MEDIATOR!

It’s a sad day in the world of animals!  Two of my favourite dogs, Mollie and Doggy have gone to war and the court case is underway.  Litchi feels that she simply cannot stand by impartially, watching friendships being ruined over simple misdemeanors relating to “Paw Tokens”.

Litchi has assigned herself as the Official Dog Mediator!  She has proposed a Plea Bargain Settlement, which is endorsed by the WWRAG (World Wide Rescue Animals Group), as being reasonable and fair.

LITCHI – The Official Mediator to the Dogs

The full details of the case, presented thus far, are available on Misaki’s blog and I would request that all readers, having now been deemed fit to adjudicate this matter, lodge your comments at Misaki, requesting that the Plea Bargain be accepted.

Many of my readers will be aware of the fact that Mollie is running a superb competition at the moment, the aim being to collect as many Paw Tokens as possible.  You would also be aware that there are two vital elements to Doggy.

Firstly: Doggy is a competition addict.  He will enter anything, just for the adrenaline rush and go full out to win! We are currently looking into DCA (Dog Competition Anonymous) help centers for him.

Secondly, and I believe most importantly, Doggy is a true Gentledog, Dog of honour and Dog of his Word.  For his selfless generosity in awarding me his well deserved and hard earned spot on Le Clown’s blog site, he has been Knighted, by President Obama no less (all kindly arranged by Mollie – the plaintiff in this scandalous court case).

Sir Doggy, as he is now officially addressed, has been taken to court by Mollie, for having misread the rules and taken a “Paw Token” meant for those who had yet to received one (he, of course, being the player that he is, had already acquired 3 of these valuable items).

This is where Litchi comes in.  Being a huge fan of both Sir Doggy and Mollie, she is, hereby, officially lodging a request for an amicable Plea Bargain to be entered into between the Plaintiff and the Defendant.

Her Plea Bargain offering is as follow:

Dear Mollie, I would request you look into the following:

  • The majority of the competitors are either cats or dogs.  As such, they are not privy to the deeper understanding of legal jargon and may frequently (but with no malice intended), misread or misunderstand certain rules.

Sir Doggy:

  • We understand that with your previous lack of legal mumbo-jumbo jargon credentials, you may have misunderstood Mollie’s fine print.
  • We also understand that you had not expected only certain cats and dogs to be the recipients of said “Paw Token”, rather believing it to be “shared equally amongst all competitors”.
  • This seems fair and reasonable as each competitor would gain equally.

Suggested Plea Bargain:

  • Mollie, the plaintiff, agrees to modify the rules, allowing all competitors to acquire said “Paw Token”.  This would include Sir Doggy.
  • Sir Doggy, the defendant, for his part in the misunderstanding, formally apologises to Mollie.
  • Sir Doggy’s charge of “Criminal Intent To Gain Paw Tokens”, is reduced to a “misdemeanor”, with a Probationary Sentence, lasting the duration of the competition, whereby he accepts that he will not attempt to unlawfully obtain future “Paw Tokens”.

So, to all my dear readers, please help this friendship survive and hop over to Misaki to lodge your comments, requesting said Plea Bargain.

47 Comments

Filed under Competition, Court Case