Ramping it up for the Rescues

Yes, the other entries are splendogorous and splencatorious and not to forget splenpigorous but I’ve just found out (yes, I’m a little slow) that there are ACTUAL PRIZES to be won.

Now you know I’m not going to take a prize for this little menagerie.  No sirree!  If there are prizes to be given, they’ll go straight to an animal shelter.  Come on guys, it’s time to vote for a shelter to get a prize.

The Valentines Ball over at Mollie & Alfie is going magnificently.

Raffles is a most regal and handsome fellow but, bless his little curly socks, he is, of course, still a pup.  He started the proceedings looking like this:

Regal Raffles with Litchi in her “A La Poodle” hairstyle (courtesy of Raffles’ Help)

But soon found the decorations simply irresistible:

How can any pup, regal or not, be expected to ignore such delectable toys?

Litchi, whom many believe to be a true Lady but whose hidden nature is that of Manic Mania, joined in the fun like this:

Maniac Litchi trying to catch pieces of decor tossed about by Raffles

Raffles, on having been admonished by the bouncers, retreated in shame to hide in the bushes:

Raffles, like any young one at their first party, landed up in the bushes!

But Litchi, knowing it was her duty as the “more mature” half of this couple, ran to her rescue, bribed the bouncers (she learnt that from Doggy) and ensured their return entry to the Ball:

Litchi rushes to Raffles Rescue

Shadow and Coccolino also started the festivities in fine style:

Cocco, the true gentlepig, arrived with a cupcake gift when he collected Shadow

But as the alcohol flowed, he managed to relieve another guest of their costume and give Shadow some good giggles along the way:

What girl wouldn’t laugh at a man wearing pirate skulls for Valentines?

Realising he was on to a good wicket, he sneaked Shadow off to teach her how to steal the best quality drinks on the sly:

Well, no cat is going to say “No” to some stolen, spiked milk

But once the shenanigans were over, Cocco certainly put his best hoof forward and my, oh my, what an accomplished dancer he proved to be:

Now tell me, how could these two possibly not win King and Queen of the Ball?

Moving onto the youngest attendee at the ball.  Little 8 week old Pixels and the two most utterly handsome dates in dogville, Scout and Teddy:

As the Lady we trust she will grow up to be, she donned a fabulous hat to match her Gentledog partners

What kitty could say no to the perfect Black & White partners, sporting their top hats with style and grace?

Scout seemed really taken by Pixels and gave her his best Toothy Grin

To which Pixels replied with an:

Eeeeeek!

But soon realised that these two stunners were nothing, if not caring, gentle, slobberbugs well worthy of her paw pats.

Enough jabbering – get yourselves off to Mollie & Alfie and cast your votes for King and Queen of the Ball and Best Dressed.

Again, I warn you, DO NOT look at the other entries.  They are spectacular and brain cells will instantly ignite into an inferno.

Remember, you are voting to get a Rescue Shelter a PRIZE.  You are voting for the DESTITUTE, the HOMELESS, the UNLOVED and ADORABLE!  This is YOUR CHANCE to make a DIFFERENCE IN THEIR LIVES!

PS – All photos of dates were maliciously stolen off their blogs.  They may sue me but would have to stand in line with the other 3258 other claimants.  We suspect your court date would be scheduled for around 2098.

The Rescue Animals of the World unite in saying THANK YOU!

Valentines Valuable Votes

Yes, we’re doing it again.  We need your votes in order to win in Mollie & Alfie’s fabulous Valentines Ball competition. 

Not to make you feel guilty or anything but your votes are not for us, they are for the poor, abandoned, abused and neglected pets of the world. 

Pixels at only 8 weeks old, already has Scout and Teddy (count that – 2 handsome dates!) for the ball

Pixels: Been on this planet for a mere 8 weeks.  Lost her Mom at 6 weeks.  Been run over by a car.  Taken to the vet and X-Rayed.  Picked up by complete strangers (that’d be me).  Put in a home with strange cats and a dog.  Somehow, managed to organize 2, yes 2 handsome dates for Valentines Ball.  Apparently Scout and Teddy think she is hotness percatified!

Shadow with the most fun date on the PLANET, Cocco the mini pig (and a bum tickling cupcake)

Shadow: Lost her Mom at 4 weeks of age.  Got taken home by stranger (yes, me again).  Grew up to be simply stunningly beautiful.  Nabbed herself a seriously hot date with Coccolino the Mini Pig.  He’s so sweet he even made Shadow a cupcake for the date, which for reasons unbeknown to us, he appears to be using to brush Shadow’s hot little butt?!?

Litchi and the utterly to die for, handsome pup Raffles (so young and yet so dapper)

Litchi: Roamed the streets being neglected and badly treated for her first 6 months on earth.  Trusted no-one.  Got taken home by strange individual (gosh, could that be me again?).  Went from supposedly “people aggressive” to working with children, helping to teach them Dog Body Language.  Hit the jackpot and got a date with Raffles, the mighty handsome Standard Poodle Pup.  They make the perfect Black & White couple and Litchi, knowing that this would be Raffles first Ball attendance, ensured she’d make him feel comfortable by wearing a quite stunning wig to match Raffles’ curly fur.

What you need to do:

1. Hop over to Mollie & Alfie’s before 3am (British Time).
2. DO NOT get distracted by looking at any of the other awesome entries!!!
3. To avoid letting yourself, your conscience and your country down, ignore the entire post and scroll immediately to the comments (you may go back and look after capturing your entirely biased vote).
4. Vote for Sweetest Couple and Hottest Couple (obviously, we’re wanting one of these three in each)
5. Vote by putting comment eg # 1 Pixels Scout and Teddy, # 2 Raffles and Litchi, # 3 Cocco and Shadow (or whatever order you would like – see, not all that biased as you are allowed to choose between these three).

The rescue animals of the world thank you!

Our incredible photographs and attire were generously done by:

Shadow and Cocco – Festooned by the incredible Mom, owned by the fabulous guinea pigs of Hutch A Good Life

Litchi and Raffles – Amazingly attired by Raffles’ Help from The Princess Tails

Pixels, Scout and Teddy – Adorned by Scout and Teddy’s slave over at Dogs n Pawz

My eternal thanks to the handsome dates and their slaves/help/producers.

Rescue Reveal

My bulky and, therefore, not particularly agile brain, has been thinking too small.  It’s time to broaden the horizons.

For any of the dog loving readers who happen upon this post, there is an incredible site called Time To Train Your Dog that is definitely worth visiting.  The training techniques offered are all based on positive reinforcement, providing the best possible relationship and bond between your dog and yourself.

Litchi is a rescue – she approves of this post!

As we all pretty much know by now, I’m something of a Rescue Freak.  Time To Train Your Dog kindly suggested that I do guest posts and I jumped at the chance.  Any and all publicity for the rescue shelters is greatly appreciated.

Alright then – this is where you guys come in.  Didn’t think you were going to get off lightly on this one, did you?  Shelters within South Africa can and will be Revealed on my site.  However, much to my utter amazement, numerous of my readers are based in an astonishing number of different countries.

Sabre – “I’m a rescue and I approve!”

Highlighting the rescue organizations in only one country, no longer makes as much sense as my pea-brain had originally thought.  Now, much as I would love to be travelling the world, visiting all the fabulous shelters, I find that BMH (Barking Mad Husband) is not a VRH (Very Rich Husband), so I shall need your assistance with this.  No, no, I don’t need money (unless, of course, you wish to send it, at which point I’ll gladly accept), what I need, is for you to send me the details of Animal Rescue Shelters in your area, that you believe could benefit from a bit of publicity.

There are only one or two teeny-weenzie little rules with this.  The shelter needs to be Pro-Life / No-Kill.  This was my mission when I set out on this journey – to help those who will help the animals for the rest of their lives (not the peoples’ lives, silly, the animals’ lives).  The second, is that they are well run and, thereby, give the animals a life, not simply keep them alive.

Shadow “me too, me too – I’m a rescue and I approve!”

So, off you go then.  Stop waiting around reading my nonsense.  Go find the most deserving Shelter in your area and send me the information.  If it’s a dog rescue shelter, it will be featured on Time To Train Your Dog.  If it’s cat, rat, bird, guinea pig, other pig, etc. it will be featured on my site.

Come on guys – let’s do a Global Rescue Reveal

PS – pictures to go with the story of the shelter would obviously be great.  Either send me the stuff, or get the shelter to do so, or give me info where I can reach them.

Email me at longlife@dcrprocess.co.za

MEANDERING MOLLIE PAWTY!

LADY LITCHFIELD LOVE, EMPRESS OF BORDEAUX, WEARING HER STUNNING CROWN AND COLLAR OF EXOTIC FLOWERS DESIGNED BY THE FAB-FOUR PIGGIES

This spectacular amuse bouche is being held in honour of the awesome animals who united in a spectacular display of courage and conviction in order to, they believed, rescue a dog in need.  Mollie, the “damsel in distress”, turned out not to be Dapper Doggy’s hostage but was, rather, cavorting around Vegas with the Errant Easy, who’s ransom note had demanded Lobsters? In the words of the The Colonialist “What Mobster wants Lobster?”

Festivities had been planned for the safe return of Mollie but, due to her somewhat less than desirable conduct, the reunion party is now officially a Meandering Mollie Party!

The Guest of Dishonour Honour, Mollie, arrived in South Africa in great style, aboard a yacht and, to the shock of all concerned, was travelling with, not only the always Admirable Alfie but, also, with the Errant Easy, who had been the cause of her fall from grace.

After having managed to cover her skimpy yacht attire and don a more fashionable evening gown, she strode down the red carpet, totting her clutch bag easily in one paw and, briefly, behaving like a true lady.

However, after a few bottles glasses of Bordeaux’s finest wines, the true Blonde Vixen returned.  You tell me – Damsel in Distress or Overly-Vivacious Vixen?

No wonder the Errant Easy was unable to resist her wily ways and left Litchi to lament her loss.

Errant Easy, for his part, arrived with great aplomb, swaggering down the red carpet sporting his finest tuxedo, which we later found out was not un-buttoned due to his desire to appear casually elegant but, rather, due to having over-indulged in ice-cream!  Mollie and Easy continued to flaunt their flirtatious fling, dancing the night away with abandon.  We believe that they make a perfect couple!

Dapper Doggy, being in great favour with Lady Litchi (having bestowed upon her the title of Empress) arrived looking splendid in his cravat.  However, having now conquered the majority of the world, he finds he now requires his blonde wig disguise in order to throw off the paparazzi.

Princess Zena arrived in perfect Royal Style, carrying her crown on her head with the ease of one born into high society and impressing all with her jeweled gown.

A few glasses of delicately sipped wine soon dispelled her inhibitions and she transformed into a most lively Cleopatra, with whom the Dapper Doggy found himself quite taken.  It would appear that love may be in the air.  They do make quite the perfect match!

The world renowned Gallant Guinea Pigs, whose latest line of fashion design was being sported by Lady Litchfield, were looking grand in bow ties, top hats, tie clips and bowlers.  All party attendants were in awe of their finesse and the fabulous team of Nibbles, Nutty, Buddy and Basil astounded everyone by offering, to the blogosphere, their talents for any future festivities whom anyone may be attending.

Sagacious Sammy, strode in with the confidence of a world leading Judge, decked out in his finest court robes.  He looked poised and elegant and immediately caught the eye of Shadow (who’s picture we cannot display as she refused to displace her perfect hair with a gown of any nature).  The little Charlatan Shadow would like, however, to convey to Judge Samuel Kimmell, her delight in having met such a handsome cat.

Sammy, for his part, soon forgot his legal background and changed into party gear, with the assistance of the Fab-Four Piggies and became the life and soul of the party, masquerading as Captain America.

Madame Misaki, elegantly draped in beautiful shades of blue, was one of the few who managed to retain her dignity during the festivities.  Empress Litchi was greatly impressed and thoroughly enjoyed her company, although she is wondering what might have happened to her Kong?

Every party has to have one!  The rule breaker.  Rebel Ruby provided the true shock factor for this affair, arriving perfectly naked!  Mollie had quite a time holding onto Easy at this point.  Rebel Ruby, in retrospect, was probably the cause of all the hilarity and general misdemeanors of what turned out to be quite the swinging party!  Thanks for bringing so much fun to all – Rebel Ruby!

And then, the moment Lady Litchfield, Empress of Bordeaux had been waiting for.  The arrival of Jetty the Gentleman!  Jaunty Jet arrived in the style of a true Gentledog, comfortably bearing his bow-tie with dignity and ease.  Lady Litchi was instantly smitten.  Her mysterious, dark haired rescue dog had finally arrived to quell her once aching heart.

At this point, as we are aware of the media desperately seeking out juicy stories, we can reveal little else but, if you look at the true delight and enchantment displayed by Litchi, I think one’s imagination can conjure up the rest!

LITCHI, BEARING HER PATRIOTIC COLOURS OF RED, WHITE AND BLUE, BOUNCING FOR JOY

Meandering Mollie – Invitation to Party!

Lady Litchfield Love of Litchfield, Staffordshire and now Empress of Bordeaux, France (currently residing in her protectorate, South Africa), hereby formally requests the honour of your presence at her

Meandering Mollie Party

WINE, WOMEN, SONG AND LOVE

Please join Lady Litchi and her consorts Jittery Jangles, Senseless Sabre and Charlatan Shadow in celebrating the successful Rescue and Recovery Operation performed by the incredible IARB (International Animal Rescue Brigade).

All beloved readers may RSVP to this most prestigious of events.  Amusement shall be provided in the form of masterful match-making by the ever loving Litchi who will be accepting responses up to and including Wednesday, the 3^rd day of October, this 2012’th year of Animaldom.

Special requests are hereby sent to:

Meandering Mollie

Errant Easy

Dapper Doggy

Maestro Misaki  

Gallant Guineas

Admirable Alfie

Sagacious Sammy

Zealous Zena

Jaunty Jet

Reliable Ruby

The above honoured guests either formed the acclaimed IARB or, as in the case of Mollie and Easy, the instigators of said Rescue & Recover.

RSVP’s to the amuse bouche will be accepted via written reply via the provided “comments” section attached to this invitation.  However, acceptance of RSVP’s will only be accepted upon receipt of photograph displaying aspirant attendant in appropriate attire.  Such outstanding photographic delights should be forwarded to longlife@dcrprocess.co.za

A PREVIEW OF THE GUILTY PLEASURES TO BE ENJOYED AT THE PARTY!

Litchi’s Lament – Love Ain’t Easy!

Good news!  Bad news!  Then some good news again! 

Firstly, the international efforts of Alfie, Misaki, Investigator Piggies, Sammy and Zena, paid off.  Mollie has been FOUND!  Doggy is vindicated (although he’s still at war, having plundered Portugal and now entering French territory).

DOGGY’S INVASION

The recovery of Mollie is fantastic news but leads, sadly, to the Bad News!

The Dognapper, the *“Monster Wanting Lobster”, was EASY!.

For Litchi, this is bad news indeed.  Mollie is a stunning blonde, with flashy dress sense.  Litchi, on the other hand, is not even brunette, she is pitch black.  She has never been seen parading any sort of fashion.  Easy is a most handsome Weimeramer and had, in Litchi’s opinion, been displaying some very forward courting behaviour towards her.  Read the following excerpts from comments on her blog and decide for yourselves.

• Litchi you look gorgeous – what’s your phone number?
• hehe, got it…with my fabulous tail-antenna    thanks, Litchi

And, after having written a most beautiful poem, with which Litchi was rather smitten, he replied:

• haha thanks!!! Hoped Litchi would like it

Litchi believed True Love (or, at minimum, True Lust) had been found.  But love, it appears, is never that Easy!  Just look at the SMS between Easy and Mollie

However, I told you there was a last piece of good news.  Dapper Doggy, through all the turmoil of war, in his Gentledog manner, posted the following:

“Bordeaux will be spared and it’ll be now an official South African Colony under the rule of Lady Litchi”

With limited space to accommodate all the wine in Bordeaux, Lady Litchfield Love will be throwing a celebratory PARTY!  She has invited all the wonderful investigators, low flying cats and brave Princesses to this party, along with Sir Doggy (who, being black himself, may well suite Litchi’s taste better than a Weimerama) and, to ensure that, if Sir Doggy were to fall for Princess Zena, Jetty the Gentleman, whom Lady Litchi believes to be a most suitable companion for her.  Jetty the Gentleman is a Rescue Dog and would, therefore, understand her occasional quirks, left over from hard days on the street.  Jetty is also, Jet Black – how perfect is that!

Easy, Lady Litchfield Love, of Litchfield Stafordshire and, now, Bordeaux, France (not forgetting South Africa, from where she rules her colonies) hereby requests your attendance at the Mollie Merriment Party, where she shall, as a true Lady, hold her head high and accept the gracious advances of Dapper Doggy and Jetty the Gentleman.

As proof that she has already forgotten this heartbreaking affair, she offers a photograph of her kissing on the couch with her rebound fling.

*PS – the “Monster Wanting Lobster” is courtesy of the fabulous site Colonialist, who had left a comment saying “What Monster wants Lobster??”.  I laughed so hard I simply had to include it!

Never have So Many been called upon to Help So Few!

Never in the history of Dogdom, have so many been called upon to risk their lives for so few (well one, to be exact).

Woof World III is on the verge of breakout and not, as one might assume, due to border disputes, greed induced arguments over mineral bone resources or mans dogs’ inherent need for battle.  No, my dear readers, WWIII looks to take the stage due to Paw Tokens!  The ultimate in valuable currency for competition addicted dogs the world over!  Oh, and lest we forget, the capture, “potential” hostage situation and now Kidnapping of Mollie.

• Doggy invaded Mollie’s village, captured her and held her at his Castle.
• He then brazenly took her to dine at the finest trash cans in town.
  • This, needless to say, surprised all in Animal Kingdom, who had, thus far, assumed Mollie to be a Hostage.
  • However, one should not forget the Stockholm Syndrome (hostages falling for their captors).
  • Mollie, subsequently, went missing!
  • Fear reigned through the nations.  Dogs, cats and guinea pigs mobilized their forces.  So many animals, so little time, only one to rescue!

Doggy threatened WWIII, stating that his honor had been compromised, insisting that Mollie had left happy, full and content.  He provided the following proof of her being escorted by the War Elephants on her return trip.

And then, oh the horror, a ransom note was received.  All paws had been pointed at Doggy and then, this:

The Frightening Reality – A RANSOM NOTE!

Doggy is indeed innocent (although I still suspect that his intentions towards Mollie were not quite so).  Rumours having been flying about kissing by the trash cans.

Many a Rescue Animal is involved in the hunt for Mollie.  Follow their death defying escapades and catch up on previous news here:

War Horns  – By Doggy

War Update – By Doggy

Kidnap By Mollie

Call to World Invasion – By Doggy

News Reports By The Piggies at Hutch a Good Life

Investigation By Misaki

Investigation By Sam

Investigation By Zena, The Princess