It’s a sad day in the world of animals!  Two of my favourite dogs, Mollie and Doggy have gone to war and the court case is underway.  Litchi feels that she simply cannot stand by impartially, watching friendships being ruined over simple misdemeanors relating to “Paw Tokens”.

Litchi has assigned herself as the Official Dog Mediator!  She has proposed a Plea Bargain Settlement, which is endorsed by the WWRAG (World Wide Rescue Animals Group), as being reasonable and fair.

LITCHI – The Official Mediator to the Dogs

The full details of the case, presented thus far, are available on Misaki’s blog and I would request that all readers, having now been deemed fit to adjudicate this matter, lodge your comments at Misaki, requesting that the Plea Bargain be accepted.

Many of my readers will be aware of the fact that Mollie is running a superb competition at the moment, the aim being to collect as many Paw Tokens as possible.  You would also be aware that there are two vital elements to Doggy.

Firstly: Doggy is a competition addict.  He will enter anything, just for the adrenaline rush and go full out to win! We are currently looking into DCA (Dog Competition Anonymous) help centers for him.

Secondly, and I believe most importantly, Doggy is a true Gentledog, Dog of honour and Dog of his Word.  For his selfless generosity in awarding me his well deserved and hard earned spot on Le Clown’s blog site, he has been Knighted, by President Obama no less (all kindly arranged by Mollie – the plaintiff in this scandalous court case).

Sir Doggy, as he is now officially addressed, has been taken to court by Mollie, for having misread the rules and taken a “Paw Token” meant for those who had yet to received one (he, of course, being the player that he is, had already acquired 3 of these valuable items).

This is where Litchi comes in.  Being a huge fan of both Sir Doggy and Mollie, she is, hereby, officially lodging a request for an amicable Plea Bargain to be entered into between the Plaintiff and the Defendant.

Her Plea Bargain offering is as follow:

Dear Mollie, I would request you look into the following:

  • The majority of the competitors are either cats or dogs.  As such, they are not privy to the deeper understanding of legal jargon and may frequently (but with no malice intended), misread or misunderstand certain rules.

Sir Doggy:

  • We understand that with your previous lack of legal mumbo-jumbo jargon credentials, you may have misunderstood Mollie’s fine print.
  • We also understand that you had not expected only certain cats and dogs to be the recipients of said “Paw Token”, rather believing it to be “shared equally amongst all competitors”.
  • This seems fair and reasonable as each competitor would gain equally.

Suggested Plea Bargain:

  • Mollie, the plaintiff, agrees to modify the rules, allowing all competitors to acquire said “Paw Token”.  This would include Sir Doggy.
  • Sir Doggy, the defendant, for his part in the misunderstanding, formally apologises to Mollie.
  • Sir Doggy’s charge of “Criminal Intent To Gain Paw Tokens”, is reduced to a “misdemeanor”, with a Probationary Sentence, lasting the duration of the competition, whereby he accepts that he will not attempt to unlawfully obtain future “Paw Tokens”.

So, to all my dear readers, please help this friendship survive and hop over to Misaki to lodge your comments, requesting said Plea Bargain.


Filed under Competition, Court Case

47 responses to “DOG MEDIATOR!

  1. We most certainly and heartily hope that an amicable solution can be reached before these two darling dogs ruin a great friendship (and a damned fine competition!). Good luck Litchi.

    • Thank you Animal Couriers. Litchi feels quite strongly about this. It upsets her to see a friendship ruined due to legal action. She is hoping that this matter can be settled “out of court”. Regards, Litchi – Dog Mediator.

  2. Fank youz..I willz have a talk wiff Alfie 🙂 xx00xx

  3. I will be advising my client to seriously consider the options you have laid out! Good job!

  4. I fink Doggy’s fallen asleep..bark bark!!! He must have such Paw ache and a spliitin headache … 🙂 🙂

  5. Great post! I love it. Good job, I hope that some sort of solution can be reached before things get nasty! 😉

  6. Litchi appears to be doing a very good job. Keep it up and hopefully friendship will prevail.

  7. Oh Wolf and Flea! These legal competitions…err…complications 😉 are way over and above the mystified head of this Europan Icewolf!! I feel a need to howl my mystification to what remains of the Full Moon and wonder at the intricacies of the friendshiip in question! Good Wolfie lupine…err…luck 😉 to all concerned 🙂

  8. Hey LItchi, Jet here. Hi Miss Susan.

    You may not know this… Mom went to Law School, so, she really appreciates you taking the time to mediate this sad turn of events. I, Gentleman Jetty, offer to you, Litchi, my skills as a detective with a background in legal investigation from Scooby Doo Academy to help implement your most brilliant, well reasoned accord. Mom said she thinks your Mom must have gone to the same type of school because her wise legal counsel to you, Litchi, is quite something.

    PS… We are friends with Misaki and Mollie, however, unfamiliar with Sir Doggie. We did reply to Misaki’s post about Sir Doggie’s kindness in passing Le Clown’s blogroll posting to you. Big congrats by the way.


    • Why thank you, Gentleman Jetty. Your kind words certainly helped and Litchi is pleased to announce that the Plea Bargain was accepted. Thank you so much for your extremely kind offer to lend a helping hand with your detective skill. Scooby Doo Academy – well that really is something. I will certainly keep this in mind for any future negotiations and knowing that your Mom went to Law School is just fantastic. I’m afraid my skills have been gained through television shows only, however, we now know exactly where to come in the future.
      Thank you for all your help and support – you truly are a wonderful friend!

      • Hi Miss Susan,

        Hooray, the accord stands! Most welcome to offer my services anytime. 🙂

        Well, you have certainly learned well, probably better than those fancy, shmancy law places Mom attended!!!

        We mentioned you today in our post. 🙂

      • Well, for my part, I am very impressed that your Mom attended Law School – what a great achievement. Thanks for your continued offer to help – I have no doubt it will be needed again in this blogging world of ours 🙂
        Best I pop over to your site quickly and not waste time writing replies. Of I go then 🙂

  9. Great post! I must say I was a quarter of the way through reading it when I finally got it, lol
    I must be a little slow today 😉 I do hope it all works out!

  10. Dame Litchi,

    I will sign the Litchi Treaty and to prove my will for peace and harmony I’ve removed the snipers that were surrounding Molli’s house.
    I do not mind apologizing for having brought her to justice, me and my fellow contenders are gonna get the token and she’ll get peace f mind and my respect, no need to mention that she now will be able to open the cortines again without the having a laser pointing at her, the laser was fun to Alfie tho.

    Sincerely yours,
    Sir Doggy of Water and Chester

    • Dear Sir Doggy,

      You remain, as always, a true Gentledog and the Rescue Animals of the world unite in singing your praises for being such a big man and signing the Litchi Treaty. I am sure Alife will miss the laser pointers but am glad to hear that Mollie can now open curtains without fear.

      We are elated that friendship has prevailed.

      Yours faithfully,
      Lady Litchfield Love of Litchfield, Staffordshire

  11. Thank heavens cooler heads prevailed and the court case has been settled. I for one am anxious to hang up my judicial robes and return to my nap-filled retirement! Thank you so much for proposing the more than fair settlement terms – I think we can ALL now breathe a sigh of relief and munch a treat or two before taking a snooze.

    Kitty Hugs, Sammy

    • Dear Sammy,

      We thank you for handling this matter in such a sterling manner. The Rescue Animals of the world are elated to know that friendship has prevailed and that the Litchi Treaty has been signed and agreed to.

      Although we are pleased that you can now resume your nap-filled retirement, we shall miss you in your glorious judicial robes. We must say, you were quite splendid.

      Yours faithfully,
      Lady Litchfield Love, of Litchfield, Staffordshire

      • Dearest Lady Litchfield Love – you too were quite magnificent in your role as Mediator….were it not for your “voice of sanity” in the controversy, a lot of tears (and paw tokens) would have been shed! Thank you again for assisting the court so well.

        Yours Truly,
        Happily Retired Judge Samuel Kimmell

  12. All’z wellz, that endz wellz……Alfie Furball..2006…
    See ya at the Pawty tomorrowz 🙂 bring a bottle! xx

    • Our Dearest Mollie,

      Litchi would like me to convey her thanks and elation at knowing that friendship has prevailed. You have been a marvelous lass, agreeing to sign the Litchi Treaty.

      In truth, you are simply far too beautiful to be caught up in ugly messes such as these.

      Yours faithfully,
      Lady Litchfield Love, of Litchfield, Staffordshire

      • Lady Litchfield love…Ow’s youz finks I’mz beautifuls..I willz sign anyfing..Youz beautiful and youz can come and play at my pad, anytime 🙂

      • She would so love a play date with you. I bet the two of you would get on fabulously – and drive all the boys nutty 🙂

      • Pee-ss..How can I’z become ” Lady Mollie of Sussex ” 🙂

      • Well now, Lady Litchifield Love of Litchfield, Staffordshire is, of course, Litchi’s official name – we simply couldn’t all it across fields on a regular basis, therefore, her nickname Litchi. I did an early post explaining the origins of her name but I think is was before I had picked up many readers, so it might be worth doing a little update now.
        As far as being Lady Mollie of Sussex, I think, due to your lady like conduct with regards to agreeing to the Litchi Treaty and settling out of court, you probably deserve to earn an honorary title.
        Therefore, Lady Mollie of Sussex, it now is!

    • Litchi would like me to convey her “thanks” for your extremely kind words. She is pleased to announce that the Litchi Treaty was agreed upon and signed. It would appear that friendship prevailed.

      Yours faithfully,
      Lady Litchfield Love, of Litchfield, Staffordshire

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  14. The inside story of the court case of the century: Exclusive – Doggy in do, do over competition crises

  15. Enjoyed your creative post today thank you for sharing with us.

    • Thanks so much 🙂 Someone had to be the voice of reason and save the friendship. I am extremely pleased to announce that the Litchi Treaty was, in fact, accepted and signed and the two warring parties had dinner together to celebrate 🙂
      It was all a rather hilarious time!

  16. Now that the agreement has been accepted we hope they can go back to having a great friendship. Misunderstandings happen sometimes but it is terrific that they were willing to work it out 🙂

  17. I hope they’re coming to their sences and letting friendship prevail 🙂

    • Litchi is pleased to announce that the Litchi Treaty was signed and all parties had dinner together to celebrate the fact that friendship did, in fact, prevail. We cannot vouch for how their heads feel today, as the party appears to have been quite some affair 🙂

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