Gremlins are animals too, you know!

This blog is about animals.  Animals in need, to be precise.  Gremlins must, therefore, be animals, for today they are the subject of my post.

To all the splendiferous blogs who may be feeling somewhat neglected and un-patronized lately, please understand that I am currently the recipient of a very large Gremlin, who must be in need, as he has set up residence here.

I have trained dogs before.  One Sunday my dear, long suffering Mother, taking one look at the latest “forever” cat, said “well, you can’t train cats, you know!”  By the following weekend, when she braved the zoo, I had trained the cat to “sit”, “look at the sky” and “look at my face”, all nicely performed, on command.

You’d think, therefore, that a Gremlin would pose little problem.  You would be wrong!

As part of my initiative to provide information on as many species as I encounter, I can now officially inform you that Gremlins Are Not Trainable!  They Do Not Listen!

My current, rather stubborn-minded (nearly said pig-minded, until I remembered I actually like pigs) Gremlin, visited me well over a week ago.  It is still here.  It has not informed me as to the nature of its need dilemma.  It does not appear to need food as my kitchen is still in one piece.  Love and cuddles do not appear to be a requirement.  I have put much effort into re-homing it, finding many suitable forever homes but it steadfastly refuses to leave.  It would appear that for the foreseeable future, my zoo shall encompass a Gremlin.

I have ascertained its particular likes.  It has a fondness, not for food, but for the consumption of internet connection.  It seems to feed constantly though the day.  A little bit like a cat, I guess.  Gremlins like to nibble away steadily.  Unlike cats, they do not take breaks for general ablutions or “the crazies” game time.  They are, however, much like cats in their hunting ability.  Their stealth is astonishing, allowing internet connection to briefly show itself, begin to feel quietly comfortable before being Pounced upon and killed in one swipe.

These never before researched facts about Gremlins are important for the following reasons:

  • The blogs I love will think I have deserted them
    • This is not the case.  Whilst the Gremlin is still in “prowl” mode, I jump onto a site, read like a demon possessed librarian and hit the “like” button with the speed of a chameleon’s tongue.  Sometimes I’m lucky.
  • The blogs which manage to avoid the savages of the Gremlin and acquire themselves a “like” are, as always, supposed to have received a comment.
  • It would appear that I have yet to master typing at the speed of a chameleon’s tongue.
    • Firstly, had I have done so, the chances are that I would be making far too much money doing something with that skill to be blogging at all.
    • Secondly, the blogs I read would have seen comments which, for the most part, is simply not happening.
  • Any comment received in the past week have been typed and “posted” so many times that I nearly forget what site I’m reading, let alone what I was trying to say.

Please do not think me rude.  I am reading all the posts.  I simply require the assistance of a Gremlin Whisperer in order to let you know I have done so.  So, whilst I tend and care for my new Gremlin, I hereby give up on commenting.  If you get a “like”, consider yourself very fortunate indeed (maybe buy a lotto ticket – it is definitely your lucky day!).  If you do not, please have blind faith that I have read your post.  For those who have not read this post, I’m afraid there is little I can do to let you know.  Then again, if they have not read this, then I guess I have no real reason to feel guilt.

Whilst I await my Gremlin Whispered, please promise me 2 things.

  • Firstly, that you will accept a simply “like” as a clever, witty and probably hilarious comment in response to your brilliance.
  • Secondly, that you will visit me in the loony-bin, to which I am rapidly heading.

(This post has been typed in word and, hopefully, copied into WordPress.  It has no pictures, as Gremlins appear to find these particularly delicious.  I have no idea when it might appear as I have yet to successfully judge a Gremlins appetite).

5hrs 15min since first attempt to post this.


Filed under Adoptions, Rescue

110 responses to “Gremlins are animals too, you know!

  1. Oh that’s our worst nightmare ( wink wink ) I got so ingrosed in the story, I was waiting for photo’ Must be Litchie’s xx

  2. Think your internet gremlins live with us to. Sometimes it can take mummy an hour to read her e-mails. She gets very annoyed at the computer and says lots of naughty words. Me and Nellie know lots of naughty words as they are often directed towards Us and our activities.

    • 😀 I’m sure she only says bad words to you our of frustration with the Gremlins. You guys are far too good to deserve them being directed at you purposefully 🙂
      Hope your Mom gets her Gremlins trained quickly. I know how it feels and I was mere moments from clinical insanity!

  3. Uh oh, maybe the gremlin will be nicer if you feed him 🙂

  4. Oh dear! Is it bad that this made us giggle?! 😉

    So have you named the Gremlin? Whee could suggest names, Mummy called hers ‘bloody thing’ or ‘piece of junk’ or ‘spawn of the devil technology’ when she had one a few weeks ago (whee could not determine it’s gender so chose names which could apply to both!)

    Whee think you should call yours Mr Grimm, because that’s how he makes you feel and fills you with a grim determination to fight him!

    Good luck with your Gremlin training. Whee are going to ask the little hoomans how they scared ours off!

    Nibbles, Nutty, Buddy & Basil

  5. Oh boy…good luck training your gremlin! Bad gremlin, bad. 😉

  6. Oh, that’s awful. It’s really hard to train a gremlin. I hope he moves on, soon.

  7. Hopefully you can either train him or chase him away. Hailey and Zaphod

  8. I am an excellent hunter, but alas, even I don’t think I could catch such a devious creature!! I wish you luck, and I’ll keep my fingers crossed you kill the little bugger!!



  9. I have never met a gremlin, but they sound very dangerous and scary. I hope that you will be okay! If a gremlin is like a squirrel or a lizard then maybe I can help.

    • I so wish you could have helped but, I’m afraid, they are like nothing we’ve ever seen before. I seem to have managed to train it now. Thanks for hanging in there and waiting all this time for a reply (Gremlins just LOVE replies).

  10. Vera Ersilia

    Post was read by me and my cats in Idaho, USA, today October 11, 2012 at 6:30 p.m.- don’t know when it arrived since I saw it just now – but arrive it did, or rather it lives on the net for all to see. It was NOT eaten by your Gremlin.
    The cats say they cannot identify or kill gremlins because they are indoor cats and no gremlin ever fell into the covered window well where they sit to catch the sun.
    Take heart and keep on typing….

    • Please thank the cats for trying. I hope they never have to see a Gremlin – horrible, spikey, hurtful little creatures, they are! 🙂
      Anyway, we seem to have got it trained and we can finally comment and reply without the Gremlin’s insatiable appetite devouring everything. Thanks for hanging in there with us! 😀

  11. Gotta hate those gremlins – they mess up everything!

  12. I have received your last comment on Mica’s Costume and my Halloween blog. Good luck getting rid of your Gremlin!!

  13. Naughty naughty gremlins. Have a fabulous gremlin free Friday.
    Best wishes Molly

    • Gremlins were rife over weekend but, luckily, I didn’t care, because my great, great friend from Aussie was out here and we were doing a major catch-up. Had a brilliant weekend and hope you did as well! Thanks for sticking by us during our “minimalist phase”. 😀

  14. Sounds like you need Gremlin Busters! Not sure of their number these days but you could just announce you’ve called them and see what happens. Do remember that you mustn’t feed them after midnight and whatever you do, don’t get them wet 😀

    • Did my best not to get it wet, although with all the data it was carrying around, maybe it would have given it an electric shock! You really are very funny – just love your comments. 😀
      Sooooo happy I can finally reply now!

  15. Wow 5 hours 15 minutes to post – i am so impressed!! We have gremlins too, although it hasn’t been around for a while!! Good luck with re-homing it, I will give it stern go away looks from here to help!!

  16. Oh my goodness, what a devious pet you have there. I love chasing things but I think I would have trouble catching a Gremlin. I will sniff around for a Whisperer (ps @HeatherAlex says, have you got a tame computer company nearby who maybe have a Gremlin Whisperer you could hire?)

    • Oh if only it had been the computer rather than the mobile internet service provider – things would have been far easier. My version of Gremlin required lumbering through corporate mumbo-jumbo (they call it procedures) to get anywhere. Anyway – we’re finally back on line. Thanks for hanging in there with us 🙂

  17. Uhoh……those gremlins are tough to kick out the door once they’ve moved in and made themselves comfy BUT we think that where they are concerned, persistence pays off! Interestingly I have heard from some other WordPress-ers that they occasionally have difficulty commenting – perhaps their gremlins are “smaller” versions of the giant one that’s moved into YOUR computer! I have a feeling you’ll solve this mystery …… I really do!

    Pam (and Sam who says if the gremlin looks like a mouse, he’ll hang-glide down there and hunt it for you!!)

  18. Water after midnight is the key.
    This reminded me to my post during summer, I would start posting early morning and finish at night because the internet was so slow that it would take up to 6 hours to upload 10 pics.
    No worries, we’ll be here, waiting, and if you decide to have Gremlin BBQ invite us.

  19. A gremlin in my computer gives me a cranky. Had to buy a new computer last December because a gremlin moved in and I couldn’t exorcise it. Hope you get things worked out soon!

  20. Maybe you can push the computer or the internet with an hairdryer? <—said the gremlin inside me ;o))) have a nice friday, don't get wet and don't eat after midnight :o)

  21. Internet gremlins sound delicious. I wish I could taste them.

    Love and licks,

  22. Oh yuck a gremlin, those things just get into everything. Most certainly untrainable and not even house-trained as they leave a nasty mess behind them. What a shame you have attracted one, just shout “Out, out damn gremlin” three times before you pull the plug on your computer. Let’s hope that makes it feel very unwelcome. But truly sorry to hear about your problem. Fingers crossed it will get sorted soon.

  23. That is terrible and I hope you get that Gremlin whispered soon so you can have your internet back. In the mean time I have an award waiting for you when you get rid of that darn Gremlin, you can find it here (well maybe) 😉

  24. Nasty gremlins…

    Another award coming your way, feel free not to comment 🙂
    I’ve nominated you for the Super Sweet Award! Thank you for creating such an interesting, super sweet blog 🙂 Here’s the link:

  25. I have experienced the same frustrating problem. I type comments on some blogs and press ‘post comment’ and nothing happens. It does not show up on the blog and just disappears into the ether. It doesn’t happen on all blogs, only some.

    • Hmm, mine was happening on all (unless I tried about 10 times over a full day) – little bit crazy really but finally seem to have trained the nasty little gremlin critter and can finally play catch up. Thanks for hanging in with me 🙂

  26. Oh dear, hang in there! I had a Gremlin not long ago, too. It devoured my whole hard drive!

    • Oh no – I hope you had everything backed up. I am finally back on line and able to reply to comments (which might take me a few years to catch up on now). So good to be back – I really felt like half a person for the last 3 weeks 🙂

  27. OMD. If I had a Gremlin like that I’d be chasing it up a tree! I sure hope your Whisperer shows up soon…how frustrating.

  28. Long live the “like” button!

    • Thank you so, so much. Sorry it took so long to be able to reply but we really do appreciate it.
      Good news – Gremlin officially chased up a tree with dog guarding it. Will hopefully be able to stay on line now – Yippee!

  29. Love this post! Hang in there with the Gremlins, they will soon leave! 😉

  30. It is a very funny post Susan. 🙂 I find those kind of gremlins come and go.
    Thank you very much for visiting my new domain blog home for Boucle, and resubscribing. Boucle sends you lots of warmth and licks. Best Jane.

  31. hello long life cats and dogs its dennis the vizsla dog hay for sum reezon dada is saying things like “brite lite!” and “gizmo ka-ka” and is humming sumthing wot sownds like “bum-ba-bum-bum-bum-bum, bum-ba-bum-bum-bum-bum, bum-bum-bum bum-bum-bum-bum-bum bummmm” i hav no ideea wot has come over him!!! ok bye

  32. I hope the invasion of Gremlins will disappear one day,because Granny and I’ll miss your enjoyable comments, but when I see your LIKE on -my- our blogs I know Gizmo dropped by… wow… Granny, Gremlins will visit 😀

    • You’re the sweetest, Clowie! Thanks so much. It really did sweeten up my day, I just couldn’t reply to your comment to let you know. I think Gremlins dislike sweet things cause I’ve finally gotten rid of him! Yippee – we’re back!!!

  33. Those gremlins can be so disobedient 🙂

  34. Thanks for finding my blog, as it has allowed me to find yours! I look forward to reading more later but am off now to buy my lottery ticket, as it’s clearly my lucky day. Best of luck with your Gremlin.

    • And, did the lotto work out for you? Oh alright, I know you are not going to announce over the internet that you are now a multi-billionaire (we’ll keep that a secret) 😀
      Finally, I’m back! Gremlin officially sent packing!

  35. Too funny! Our ‘gremlin’ has four legs and is otherwise known as our puppy Gaige… she doesn’t eat our internet connection, but I think that;s just about the only thing that’s safe!

  36. Aw. Sorry to hear about your gremlin problem. I think it might be their time of year. Good luck!

  37. OMG that’s horrible, I do hope you quickly find a new home for your Gremlin, we’ve missed seeing you around!

  38. I am so behind again I have taken to reading, liking and moving on. Well expect for this post…

    • I feel extremely honoured. Thank you for commenting and sorry it’s taken so long for the Gremlin to allow me to reply. Hope you have managed to catch up now. I so no the feeling of being behind. You kind of feel like you’re drowning!

  39. LOL!! Great post. I think we’ve all experienced Gremlins! 🙂

    • Thanks! Really appreciate it. Good to know I’m not the only one but even better to know that it’s finally been re-homed (hopefully to someone I don’t really like because I’d hate anyone else to go through this nightmare) 😀

  40. Hey Lady Litchi, Hey Boks, Jet here. Hi Miss Susan.

    OMD, do we empathize! (VBP) We’re so sorry for your difficulties… our friend Dalton, from Wagg Foods (UK), thought we didn’t see his comments and that we didn’t like him anymore… not true, it was only on their side. Maybe it’s a former British Empire thingie???

    Every time we tried to visit Mollie and Alfie this week, (where we’ve been spookified btw), our internet crashed. Mom tried on 3 different machines, no luck. Maybe there’s a petblogging conspiracy from bipeds who dislike pets?

    As to loony bin… Mom was centimeters from the front door of the bin with the prolonged, dragged out, excruciating Outlook issue… please know Miss Susan that we will ALWAYS offer you the Gentleman/Jaunty Jetty lifeline with free miles to travel to the tropics. 🙂

    Gremlins… beware… we’re going to amass the troops…

    • Why thank you Jetty! I think the Gremlin got such a fright at the thought of you amassing troops that it has finally gone to find a better forever home. Your comments are just hilarious. You had me laughing but with no way to reply – very frustrating. How’s your outlook now? All better I hope!

  41. Gwumbling gwemlins! just in time to meet up with hollering Halloween ghouls and gwobblins! Oh, gwoan!

    • “Gwumbling Gwemlins” – too cute, although they, in themselves, really aren’t! Horrible, prickly little critters they are! Seems the gwobblins got mine and it has a less comfortable forever (let’s hope) home 😀

  42. but a brilliant trainer like you will train those gremlins too! I don’t see though why we all have to feel so guilty about likes and stuff. When you read, you read..when you don’t, you’re clearly busy. it’s all cool.

    • Agreed on the “feeling guilty” bit but I do feel somewhat rude having done weeks of nothing but “likes”. Anyway, I put my best training feet forward and seem, finally, to have gotten control of the nasty little beast. I’m Back!!! 😀

  43. Show your gremlin love 🙂 xx

  44. leo

    A great read and is different to say the least.Training a gremlin must be a problem 🙂 I have enough problems trying to sort out a potbellied pig .

    • Well, I certainly never planned on trying to train a gremlin. It just hopped on in and made it’s home here. Anyway, I’ve safely re-homed it now (hopefully to someone I don’t like too much because I’d never wish it on a friend) 😀
      My Dad’s always wanted a pig (although I think he might just say that to annoy my mother 🙂 )

  45. I know that gremlins are not in the least funny, but you really made me smile with this one. I do hope that your gremlin has now gone to a good home, and to someone who can afford such an expensive pet. I know exactly what you mean when you say that you’ve retyped and tried to post some comments so often that you’ve forgotten whose site you’re on. I’ve done that, and then got the person’s name wrong. Duh!! 😀

    • Right there with you. Got the site, name and whole story wrong by the time I’d finished. People must think we’re nuts but, well, I like nutty people 😀
      Gremlin has officially been re-homed. I wish them the best of luck!

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