Good news! Bad news! Then some good news again!
Firstly, the international efforts of Alfie, Misaki, Investigator Piggies, Sammy and Zena, paid off. Mollie has been FOUND! Doggy is vindicated (although he’s still at war, having plundered Portugal and now entering French territory).
The recovery of Mollie is fantastic news but leads, sadly, to the Bad News!
The Dognapper, the *“Monster Wanting Lobster”, was EASY!.
For Litchi, this is bad news indeed. Mollie is a stunning blonde, with flashy dress sense. Litchi, on the other hand, is not even brunette, she is pitch black. She has never been seen parading any sort of fashion. Easy is a most handsome Weimeramer and had, in Litchi’s opinion, been displaying some very forward courting behaviour towards her. Read the following excerpts from comments on her blog and decide for yourselves.
- Litchi you look gorgeous – what’s your phone number?
- hehe, got it…with my fabulous tail-antenna thanks, Litchi
And, after having written a most beautiful poem, with which Litchi was rather smitten, he replied:
- haha thanks!!! Hoped Litchi would like it
Litchi believed True Love (or, at minimum, True Lust) had been found. But love, it appears, is never that Easy! Just look at the SMS between Easy and Mollie
However, I told you there was a last piece of good news. Dapper Doggy, through all the turmoil of war, in his Gentledog manner, posted the following:
“Bordeaux will be spared and it’ll be now an official South African Colony under the rule of Lady Litchi”
With limited space to accommodate all the wine in Bordeaux, Lady Litchfield Love will be throwing a celebratory PARTY! She has invited all the wonderful investigators, low flying cats and brave Princesses to this party, along with Sir Doggy (who, being black himself, may well suite Litchi’s taste better than a Weimerama) and, to ensure that, if Sir Doggy were to fall for Princess Zena, Jetty the Gentleman, whom Lady Litchi believes to be a most suitable companion for her. Jetty the Gentleman is a Rescue Dog and would, therefore, understand her occasional quirks, left over from hard days on the street. Jetty is also, Jet Black – how perfect is that!
Easy, Lady Litchfield Love, of Litchfield Stafordshire and, now, Bordeaux, France (not forgetting South Africa, from where she rules her colonies) hereby requests your attendance at the Mollie Merriment Party, where she shall, as a true Lady, hold her head high and accept the gracious advances of Dapper Doggy and Jetty the Gentleman.
As proof that she has already forgotten this heartbreaking affair, she offers a photograph of her kissing on the couch with her rebound fling.
*PS – the “Monster Wanting Lobster” is courtesy of the fabulous site Colonialist, who had left a comment saying “What Monster wants Lobster??”. I laughed so hard I simply had to include it!