Litchi’s Lament – Love Ain’t Easy!

Good news!  Bad news!  Then some good news again! 

Firstly, the international efforts of Alfie, Misaki, Investigator Piggies, Sammy and Zena, paid off.  Mollie has been FOUND!  Doggy is vindicated (although he’s still at war, having plundered Portugal and now entering French territory).


The recovery of Mollie is fantastic news but leads, sadly, to the Bad News!

The Dognapper, the *“Monster Wanting Lobster”, was EASY!.

For Litchi, this is bad news indeed.  Mollie is a stunning blonde, with flashy dress sense.  Litchi, on the other hand, is not even brunette, she is pitch black.  She has never been seen parading any sort of fashion.  Easy is a most handsome Weimeramer and had, in Litchi’s opinion, been displaying some very forward courting behaviour towards her.  Read the following excerpts from comments on her blog and decide for yourselves.

  • Litchi you look gorgeous – what’s your phone number?
  • hehe, got it…with my fabulous tail-antenna    thanks, Litchi

And, after having written a most beautiful poem, with which Litchi was rather smitten, he replied:

  • haha thanks!!! Hoped Litchi would like it

Litchi believed True Love (or, at minimum, True Lust) had been found.  But love, it appears, is never that Easy!  Just look at the SMS between Easy and Mollie

However, I told you there was a last piece of good newsDapper Doggy, through all the turmoil of war, in his Gentledog manner, posted the following:

“Bordeaux will be spared and it’ll be now an official South African Colony under the rule of Lady Litchi”

With limited space to accommodate all the wine in Bordeaux, Lady Litchfield Love will be throwing a celebratory PARTY!  She has invited all the wonderful investigators, low flying cats and brave Princesses to this party, along with Sir Doggy (who, being black himself, may well suite Litchi’s taste better than a Weimerama) and, to ensure that, if Sir Doggy were to fall for Princess Zena, Jetty the Gentleman, whom Lady Litchi believes to be a most suitable companion for her.  Jetty the Gentleman is a Rescue Dog and would, therefore, understand her occasional quirks, left over from hard days on the street.  Jetty is also, Jet Black – how perfect is that!

Easy, Lady Litchfield Love, of Litchfield Stafordshire and, now, Bordeaux, France (not forgetting South Africa, from where she rules her colonies) hereby requests your attendance at the Mollie Merriment Party, where she shall, as a true Lady, hold her head high and accept the gracious advances of Dapper Doggy and Jetty the Gentleman.

As proof that she has already forgotten this heartbreaking affair, she offers a photograph of her kissing on the couch with her rebound fling.

*PS – the “Monster Wanting Lobster” is courtesy of the fabulous site Colonialist, who had left a comment saying “What Monster wants Lobster??”.  I laughed so hard I simply had to include it!


Filed under Kidnapping, Rescue

42 responses to “Litchi’s Lament – Love Ain’t Easy!

  1. Glad to hear that you’re not too brokenhearted Litchi.
    I’m excited about your party! Shall I bring the bonios???

    • Oh yes, bonios would be a great snack with all the wonderful wine!
      Being a True Lady, Litchi is holding her head high and keeping a stiff upper lip. She will even be requesting the attendance of both Easy and Mollie at her party.
      She will, of course, be willing to accept advances from Misaki as well (she may be holding her head high but sees nothing wrong in allowing Easy to know his mistake!)
      Yours faithfully
      Lady Litchfield Love of Litchfield Staffordshire and now Bordeaux, France

  2. Keep away from Doggy and East Litchi..Stick with that cute re-bound 🙂 Can’t wait for the pawty, that’s if I’m allowed out by then..bol

    • My dear Meandering Mollie,
      Litchi would like to convey her pleasure that you were found safely. However, she is feeling deeply betrayed by your advances shown to Easy. Be that as it may, Litchi is holding her head high and maintaining a stiff upper lip. She will still be throwing a party, in order to help consume all of Bordeaux’s wine.
      Your invitation shall be forthcoming.and she trusts that you will be in attendance.
      Your faithfully
      Lady Litchfield Love of Litchfield Staffordshire and now Bordeaux, France

  3. hmmm.. we should think again about the question: should dogs have mobile phones? btw: yeah…where are my lobsters?

    • Sorry you Lobster wanting Mobster, as you were caught prior to ransoms having to be paid, you are fresh out of lobster! However, there will be plenty of wine at the party, so you shall forget all about lobster.
      Your invitation to said party will be forthcoming
      Yours (no longer) faithfully
      Lady Litchfield Love of Litchfield Staffordshire and now Bordeaux, France

  4. I’ll be there as soon as I’ve finished cruising the Champs Elysees for that ‘special’ outfit.
    Am I reading this right? Have I been set up with some guy called Jetty the Gentleman who I’ve never seen and quirks? What quirks?
    And by the way the Jetty the Gentleman link doesn’t work so I can’t know if I want to go on a blind date with him coz I can’t see him…. but I do want to attend your high society party so I must just hope we get on.
    Don’t know where your lobsters are Easy but there’s a ton of snails in Monaco according to Doggy!

    • My Dear Princess Zena,
      Your invitation to the party will be forthcoming. We look forward to the pleasure of your attendance. We especially look forward to seeing your chosen outfit.
      Lady Litchfield is sad to say that she feels you may have misread the post. She was referring to the fact that Dapper Doggy and yourself may find each other rather agreeable. Jetty the Gentleman is a Rescue, just like Litchi, so Lady Litchi is hoping that they may hit it off at the party. Having been so badly betrayed my Mollie, she trusts that she will not have to experience a similar situation with you and Jetty (who’s link I’d best fix – can that be done at this late stage?).
      Your faithfully
      Lady Litchfield Love of Litchfield Staffordshire and now Bordeaux, France

      • Oh Oh..Betrayed by me…Easy and I go way back..he phoned mez, he made it look like I phoned him! Lady ( Umm ) Litchfield in the last day, you have wiggled your butt at Easy, then the re-bound and now your after Jet.I don’t even work that fast…

      • Lady Litchi finds it quite impossible not to “wiggle her butt”. She would like to point out that it is a natural characteristic of her’s, over which she has no control.
        Please remember that Litchi will still be throwing a party, in honour of your, ummmm, rescue!
        As far as working fast is concerned, being a Lady certainly does not mean that one has to be slow! Litchi found her rebound fling to be most agreeable and she no longer remembers the pain of heartbreak and betrayal.
        She is looking forward to the party as she has some match-making ideas, of which she is most excited!

  5. Oh poor Litchi! If whee were doggies then whee would court you and treat you like the lady you are.

    It is tragic that this should happen to so bootiful a doggy. Whee will demand an apology from Easy for leading you on in such a rakish manner!

    Nibbles, Nutty, Buddy & Basil

  6. My dearest Agent Piggies,
    Lady Litchi is most grateful for your support and encouraging words. She must admit to having wished to be a guinea pig herself whilst reading these kind words. She is trusting that you will be in attendance at her party, the invitation for which will be forthcoming.
    She is honoured to know such fabulously brave piggies.
    Your faithfully
    Lady Litchfield Love of Litchfield Staffordshire and now Bordeaux, France

  7. Have a lovely Sunday.
    Best wishes Molly

  8. Oh boy – a PAWTY – and a Royal PAWTY at that! Lady Empress Your Royalness, I shall be honored to attend and drink my share of that Bordeau and celebrate the various and sundry relationships that have blossomed as a result of the Meandering Mollie Affair. It was a pleasure working with all those rescuers involved and now that we’ve all had a chance to catch our breath, a party seems in order!

    Thank you from the bottom of my old heart……
    Your Servant, Sir Sammy of Virginia

    • Sir Sammy,
      We are delighted that you shall be able to attend the Meandering Mollie Party. It seems that everyone involved is in dire need of some alcoholic relief after such daunting rescue operation.
      You will be pleased to know that there are two quite gorgeous Lady Cats in residence here, who will be delighted to make your acquaintance.
      Yours faithfully
      Lady Litchfield Love

  9. BOL!!! OMD, I love the photograph with your rebound fling!!

  10. Chancy and Mumsy

    Thank you for stopping by to visit us today. You all have a great week. Hugs and nose kisses

  11. Pingback: Easy To See! | Hutch A Good Life

  12. Sounds like it all worked out!

  13. Hey Litchi, Hey Boks, Jetty the Gentleman here.

    We accept your gracious invitation to the celebration. Congratulations on your new outpost, Bordeaux! A great addition to your current fiefdom of South Africa. We think we followed the thread of events, however, only one question remains. If Easy was the culprit who made off with Mollie, why are you both hosting the party together???

    As to accepting my advances, thank you for noticing my coloring, background and Bond-like gentle-manliness. I apologize again for not contacting you as promised on Friday, you will see by my MM post what happened.

    I find you fetching, confident, smart, and intriguing. 🙂

    More to follow.

    • My Dearest Gentleman Jetty,
      We are delighted that you shall be in attendance at our Meandering Mollie Party. Litchi, being a true Lady, is holding her head high and felt that throwing a party for Mollie would certainly show that she is the bigger dog in all of this.
      We await in anticipation to read today’s post, so that we may catch up on your news. We trust that all is good in the land of Jet.
      Although Litchi is normally one to maintain a stiff upper lip, she finds herself blushing at your kind remarks.
      Yours faithfully
      Lady Litchfield Love

  14. Oh Easy how could you, Litchi you rub your rebound fling in Easy’s face 😉

  15. As Litchi remarked, Easy is a DoG Juan. Since I share this opinion, I played the role of Donna Elvira and pointed this fact out to Mollie, cf. Thus, Mollie is safe, I’ve found a perfect hiding place for her. She enjoys the situation very much because she thinks she is watching a remake of this all-time classic: Do you remember the last scene of this film?

  16. I’m glad Litchi has new suitors lined up. I’m looking forward to the party!

  17. Litchi, you are a gorgeous lady dog…and we know Mollie is a flirt beyond words. Any dog, even Easy, can fall to her advances…you just keep holding your sweet head high..paw pats, Savannah

  18. Heehee!
    Of course, as you picked up afterwards, it was MOBSTERS wanting lobsters!

  19. Empress Litchi, we’d like to recognise your bravery and courage by inducting you into the CSI – see here for more details:-)

  20. I’m sorry to hear of her heartbreak but glad Mollie has been found and Doggy vindicated.

  21. We have lobsters in the street… 😉

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