Vital Cadillac Maintenance – Step 1

If you read Your Step by Step guide to gaining a Cadillac, then you should now feel confident about acquiring your reasonably priced, slightly less than new, outstandingly upholstered Cadillac.  If not, please refer back.  

Remember, you can’t maintain a Cadillac if you don’t Have a Cadillac.

Now, we all know to wash and clean the outside of our Cadillac.  A shiny exterior will gain the attention one is seeking.  However, the longevity of your Cadillac will be greatly improved if you also consider the maintenance of the interior.

Step 1 for good interior maintenance:

Especially during the early days, a bit of “spit and polish” is going to be necessary.  In order to acquire the required spit, you could throw hard earned cash away, purchasing items or, if you are feeling frugal, you can simply use wobbly bits from a slightly older model.

Diagrammatic representation of Frugal Interior Maintenance is provided below:

 

Allow new Cadillac to chew on the ear of marginally older model, thereby maintaining good “spit and polish” interior

What are you waiting for?  Rush on over to your nearest “Cadillac Supplier” (or Rescue Shelter) to gain yourself the latest high end model.

Your step by step guide to gaining a Cadillac:

1. Contact Friend (that’d be me) stating your desire for a Cadillac and requesting friends assistance.
2. Inform Friend (yes, still me) that it does not have to be brand new.  A slightly older model, as long as under a year, would be very acceptable.
3. Make the process more difficult by informing Friend that delivery of Cadillac will only be required in a couple of months time, meaning that Friend cannot truly begin looking.  Obviously, in a couple of months, said Cadillac’s age will be different and it might have been acquired by someone else entirely.
4. Fear not, however, as Friend understands that in a few months, you will be at home for a while and can bond with your Cadillac more effectively.
5. Phone Friend again and confuse her (not difficult – she’s a blonde) by changing your mind and insisting on as new a model as possible, stating you fear your cat may not approve of a pre-used Cadillac.  Well, we all know that cats rule the roost, are decidedly fussy and prefer new things which they can mark freshly with their own scent.
6. Inform Friend you would like her to go and view the potential Cadillac’s on offer with you.  This is fantastic as Friend adores them and is very excited.
7. Receive list of potential Cadillac Suppliers from Friend.  Phone Friend and tell her you are going immediately to view a specific, rather fantastic sounding option, giving her no time to join you.  This step is vital, as you would not want Friend to be entirely satisfied with the deal.
8. Fall instantly in love with the first model viewed but ensure that you waste some time checking out other, less viable, alternatives before returning to your first choice.  You have time to waste so why bother trusting your first instinct?
9. Phone Friend and inform her that you have taken receipt of new Cadillac but that she may not yet view it herself, as it is having a few issues and requires a visit to the Cadillac Service Centre.
10. After some Extensive Internal Servicing, finally invite Friend to view Cadillac.

May I introduce you to Cadillac, the latest adoption:

Cadillac the Cutie Poo