With Christmas well on its way, we all need a good diet to follow. I was sent this via email and have no idea to whom credit should be given but, as per usual, I shall share it anyway.
For my international readers, two quick points of reference:
Checkers – a local supermarket chain
Epol – a popular brand of dog food (maybe it’s international – who knows – who cares?)
“Yesterday, I was at my local Checkers, buying a large bad of Epol dog food for my loyal pet. Whilst in the checkout queue (line, for the Americans), a woman behind me asked if I had a dog?”
“What did she think I had – an elephant?”
“So, since I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Epol Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because last time I ended up in hospital (after having lost 20 kilos) and woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet. The way that it works is to load your pockets with Epol nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (By now, practically everyone in the queue was enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her “No”, I stepped off the pavement to sniff a Bull Terriers arse and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
I’m now banned from Checkers.”