Dog Diet

With Christmas well on its way, we all need a good diet to follow.  I was sent this via email and have no idea to whom credit should be given but, as per usual, I shall share it anyway.

For my international readers, two quick points of reference:

Checkers – a local supermarket chain

Epol – a popular brand of dog food (maybe it’s international – who knows – who cares?)

“Yesterday, I was at my local Checkers, buying a large bad of Epol dog food for my loyal pet.  Whilst in the checkout queue (line, for the Americans), a woman behind me asked if I had a dog?”

This is a DOG (just in case anyone was a bit confused already).

This is a DOG (just in case anyone was a bit confused already).

“What did she think I had – an elephant?”

This is an ELEPHANT.  It doesn't look much like a DOG

This is an ELEPHANT. It doesn’t look much like a DOG

“So, since I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Epol Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because last time I ended up in hospital (after having lost 20 kilos) and woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet.   The way that it works is to load your pockets with Epol nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (By now, practically everyone in the queue was enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her “No”, I stepped off the pavement to sniff a Bull Terriers arse and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

I’m now banned from Checkers.”

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99 Comments

Filed under joke

99 responses to “Dog Diet

  1. You are my hero!
    I loved it.

  2. Oh that really made me giggle so much so I had to hand over the computer to my husband to read. Thanks for the belly laugh.

  3. you are great – thanks for make me laughing (I’ve got NEARLY a heart attack with laughing)…hope no one would ask my mom while buying baby food (for my christmas cookies) if she would have a baby …

  4. Who needs Checkers anyway?? Good one!!

  5. I wish I was that quick on my feet. This is hysterical! xoxoM

  6. That’s so naughty!

    Love and licks (and sniffs),
    Cupcake

  7. Aha! I love this one, I’ve seen it with an American brand of food and different store but boy does it make me laugh!!

  8. That’s just what the doctor ordered. a good old hurting tummy laugh 🙂 xx00xx

    Mollie and Alfie

  9. You should have bent over and sniffed that lady’s arse! Now that would have been funny! Great story! 🙂

  10. LOL!!!!!! I can just see it…especially in a Checkers!!!

  11. That is totally hilarious!!! Totally!!!

    Pam

  12. Heard that in the UK too – it always makes me laugh!

  13. Haha! Wow. Best laugh I’ve had today. 😀

  14. OMG that was hysterical! I love fun comebacks from strange questions.

  15. VERY funny!! I thinks I peed a little….

    Kisses,
    Ruby

  16. barb19

    So funny – thanks for the laugh to start my day off!

  17. Hey Lady Litchi, Hey Sabre, Hey Boks, Jetty here. Hi Miss Susan.

    When Mom got to the elephant part, she burst out laughing… good one… btw, check our Thursday post, you’re in it!! 🙂

  18. You are a little twisted. And I love it. 🙂

  19. So funny, I love your blog !!!
    *Maïté

  20. LOL, that is the funniest thing I’ve read in ages.

  21. Cool post! 😀 BOL I like the elephant comparison 🙂
    Cotton

  22. Hilarious story! If I may share an encounter ( of the dumbest kind ) in a grocery store with you and your many readers. I struck up a conversation with the woman behind me while waiting to checkout and I inquired if she was making Oyster’s Rockefeller and she replied ” some of us prefer not to eat living creatures the example she gave me was turkey.” Needless to say I felt compelled to ask her if she thought that those oysters were found in the ocean already in a jar and as for the lobster she bought if it too was found frozen and packaged. I was inclined to buy her the DVD “Oceans” but I doubt it would have helped. Thank you for allowing me to share my story.

  23. Eleenie

    Haha! So funny! 🙂

  24. Hello there thankyou for visiting my blog! I love making new furiends 😀
    This story made me and my mum laugh so hard!!

    Milo 🙂

  25. HAHAHA thank you for the laugh today. Have a great day.

  26. I bet you won’t be banned for long…think of all the sales Checkers can make if they promote your diet! 🙂

  27. Awesome! lol 🙂 You are terrible! But that was brilliant lol! 😀

  28. That is hysterical!!!! I wish I had the presence of mind to give such lucid responses to stupid questions!

  29. I think I just peed my pants because I laughed so hard.

  30. First ~ thanks for the American translations…secondly, thanks for the Monday giggle. xoxo

  31. OMG, thanks for the morning laugh. Me and the hubs always like a good chuckle.

  32. Is that why you are glad Walmart is opening here soon so that you can fit in with the rest of the freaks 😉

  33. That’s very funny! And it’s probably a lot safer than some diets!

  34. This could haveturned out two ways, as a funny funny situation, where the woman looks at your like you lost all your marbles, or you accidentally start the new Celebrity diet trend…. I’m glad it was the latter XD

  35. Hehehehehehe, I would like to have seen this 🙂

  36. hahahaha!! i needed that big laugh! 🙂

  37. Susan, I have received/read this one before, however it is so funny it was worth reading again… 🙂

  38. ouch! I wouldn’t like to ask you silly questions in public! it must have been hilarious!

  39. You ornery girl, you remind me of me!

  40. Absolutely loved it! Thanks for such a funny story!

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