With Christmas well on its way, we all need a good diet to follow. I was sent this via email and have no idea to whom credit should be given but, as per usual, I shall share it anyway.
For my international readers, two quick points of reference:
Checkers – a local supermarket chain
Epol – a popular brand of dog food (maybe it’s international – who knows – who cares?)
“Yesterday, I was at my local Checkers, buying a large bad of Epol dog food for my loyal pet. Whilst in the checkout queue (line, for the Americans), a woman behind me asked if I had a dog?”
“What did she think I had – an elephant?”
“So, since I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Epol Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because last time I ended up in hospital (after having lost 20 kilos) and woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet. The way that it works is to load your pockets with Epol nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (By now, practically everyone in the queue was enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her “No”, I stepped off the pavement to sniff a Bull Terriers arse and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
I’m now banned from Checkers.”
99 responses to “Dog Diet”
Glad you enjoyed it. Have a wonderful weekend.
You are my hero!
I loved it.
Coming from you – that means the world! Thought you might like that one.
Oh that really made me giggle so much so I had to hand over the computer to my husband to read. Thanks for the belly laugh.
Glad you recovered enough to type a reply 😀
you are great – thanks for make me laughing (I’ve got NEARLY a heart attack with laughing)…hope no one would ask my mom while buying baby food (for my christmas cookies) if she would have a baby …
😀 – good one Easy. Let’s hope they don’t ask your mom that or, if they do, that you let us know what happens.
Who needs Checkers anyway?? Good one!!
Exactly – there are quite enough supermarkets around 🙂
BOL!! That is so funny!
Glad you enjoyed. Everyone needs a laugh on a Friday.
I wish I was that quick on my feet. This is hysterical! xoxoM
Glad you enjoyed it. Always good to have a laugh 🙂
Glad you enjoyed. We all need a good laugh.
That’s so naughty!
Love and licks (and sniffs),
Naughty but good, I hope 🙂
Aha! I love this one, I’ve seen it with an American brand of food and different store but boy does it make me laugh!!
Yip, things like this go viral rather fast but, when I received it, I had to help it along. Some people hadn’t seen it and, even though you had, I’m glad you still got a laugh (we all need to laugh)
That’s just what the doctor ordered. a good old hurting tummy laugh 🙂 xx00xx
Mollie and Alfie
Best exercise you can get, I figure – the hurting tummy laugh 😀
You should have bent over and sniffed that lady’s arse! Now that would have been funny! Great story! 🙂
Oh, you are a naughty one – I love it! 🙂
LOL!!!!!! I can just see it…especially in a Checkers!!!
Glad you got a laugh out of it. We all need a good laugh to stay sane 🙂
That is totally hilarious!!! Totally!!!
So glad you enjoyed and had a laugh 😀
Heard that in the UK too – it always makes me laugh!
Yip, these things go viral so fast nowadays but I still felt like sharing it.
Haha! Wow. Best laugh I’ve had today. 😀
So glad you had a good laugh 🙂
OMG that was hysterical! I love fun comebacks from strange questions.
Glad you enjoyed. I thought I had to share it when it came through.
VERY funny!! I thinks I peed a little….
If you did pee a bit, then at least I know you got a good laugh and that’s what we all need in life.
So funny – thanks for the laugh to start my day off!
I believe everyone needs at least one good laugh a day (preferably hundreds actually). Glad you enjoyed.
Hey Lady Litchi, Hey Sabre, Hey Boks, Jetty here. Hi Miss Susan.
When Mom got to the elephant part, she burst out laughing… good one… btw, check our Thursday post, you’re in it!! 🙂
Glad your mom liked the elephant. Some readers really do need picture guidance through such things 🙂
Glad you enjoyed 😀
😀 😀 – laughing and smiling right back at you Princess Zena
You are a little twisted. And I love it. 🙂
😀 you really made me laugh now. Thanks 🙂
So funny, I love your blog !!!
Thank you – that is so incredibly nice of you. Glad you enjoyed it.
LOL, that is the funniest thing I’ve read in ages.
So glad you enjoyed. I think we all need a good laugh every day.
Cool post! 😀 BOL I like the elephant comparison 🙂
Thank you. Glad you can understand the difference 😀 I thought that maybe pictures would help for any confused people out there 🙂
Hilarious story! If I may share an encounter ( of the dumbest kind ) in a grocery store with you and your many readers. I struck up a conversation with the woman behind me while waiting to checkout and I inquired if she was making Oyster’s Rockefeller and she replied ” some of us prefer not to eat living creatures the example she gave me was turkey.” Needless to say I felt compelled to ask her if she thought that those oysters were found in the ocean already in a jar and as for the lobster she bought if it too was found frozen and packaged. I was inclined to buy her the DVD “Oceans” but I doubt it would have helped. Thank you for allowing me to share my story.
So glad you shared your story. My, my, some people just don’t have a clue. Well, I guess the creatures aren’t living anymore, so she’s right that she doesn’t eat “living creatures”. 🙂
Glad you enjoyed 🙂
Haha! So funny! 🙂
Hello there thankyou for visiting my blog! I love making new furiends 😀
This story made me and my mum laugh so hard!!
Hi, thanks for stopping by. Couldn’t agree with you more – making new friends is just so much fun. Glad you had a good laugh
HAHAHA thank you for the laugh today. Have a great day.
I bet you won’t be banned for long…think of all the sales Checkers can make if they promote your diet! 🙂
Exactly – people can be so closed minded 😀
Awesome! lol 🙂 You are terrible! But that was brilliant lol! 😀
So glad my favourite wolves liked it 🙂
That is hysterical!!!! I wish I had the presence of mind to give such lucid responses to stupid questions!
Well, you certainly are lucid enough in your posts – you always have me in stitches.
I think I just peed my pants because I laughed so hard.
Oh dear – and now you have to go the rest of the day like that 😀 Glad you had a good laugh though (I figure it’s the best exercise).
For my stomach muscles it is! Haha!
Exactly! It’s the only way mine are going to get exercise, so I best get a good few hearty laughs in a day 🙂
First ~ thanks for the American translations…secondly, thanks for the Monday giggle. xoxo
Pleasure on both accounts 🙂
With people reading in so many different countries, I’m never quite sure what is specifically South African and what is known everywhere.
That’s what I love about blogging ~ you learn so much! xo
OMG, thanks for the morning laugh. Me and the hubs always like a good chuckle.
Healthiest thing you can do – have a good chuckle a day! Glad you enjoyed 🙂
Is that why you are glad Walmart is opening here soon so that you can fit in with the rest of the freaks 😉
😀 Very funny! Having a right old giggle this side
That’s very funny! And it’s probably a lot safer than some diets!
🙂 Probably is
This could haveturned out two ways, as a funny funny situation, where the woman looks at your like you lost all your marbles, or you accidentally start the new Celebrity diet trend…. I’m glad it was the latter XD
Maybe I could make a very lucrative business out of the “celebrity diet” thing. They’ll pay almost anything for the strangest stuff 😀 Great idea!
Hehehehehehe, I would like to have seen this 🙂
Hahaha too funny!
hahahaha!! i needed that big laugh! 🙂
Susan, I have received/read this one before, however it is so funny it was worth reading again… 🙂
I’m sure it’s been doing the cyber rounds like mad. Just had to share it for those who hadn’t seen it yet 🙂
ouch! I wouldn’t like to ask you silly questions in public! it must have been hilarious!
Hmm, wasn’t actually me – just a joke sent via email. Wish I could be that quick off the mark when necessary 😀
You ornery girl, you remind me of me!
😀 – would agree although it wasn’t really me, just someone else’s funny story 🙂
Absolutely loved it! Thanks for such a funny story!
Glad you enjoyed and I could give you a laugh.